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Age and Ambition

Last Updated (Monday, 19 May 2008 07:47)
Written by Roger Bobo
Monday, 04 September 2006 04:15

Articles - Personal Essays

It happened again. I got a call from a symphony orchestra asking me to come and conduct; this time it was the Slovenia Philharmonic Orchestra in Ljubljana, Slovenia. It has happened so many times, and it always goes something like this:



I was ready for what came next; I've had heard it so many times.



I already knew what I was going to say; it would be a clear "YES". Although I would prefer to conduct the full orchestra, a "NO" answer was out of the question."



That's it. That's how it goes, and in my effort to be realistic it has become obvious that at age 68 I should not look forward to a fulfilling career of conducting the major symphony orchestras of the world. It's not as though I never had a chance. Twenty-five years ago I conducted a week of children's concerts with the Los Angeles Philharmonic; reality has to be faced again. I wasn't ready. Since then I have had abundant experience in conducting, and although I feel ready now, I don't expect any greater frequency of engagements. When they come I will gratefully and happily accept. But another thing I have to face is that that chronic ambition still burns deep inside me, and, of course, I know it would be a tragic waste of time and energy if I reflect on what might have been. Certainly, my career cannot be viewed as a failure, and I find myself quite content and fulfilled in my teaching, working with the various ensembles at the Musashino Academy of Music, and the few conducting engagements I'm offered.

My love for symphonic music is not without some pain and frustration, however. During my last years in service with Los Angeles, and even now during my occasional concert attendance, I have suffered by observing blatant conductor incompetence. I suppose saying that I was embarrassed would be considered more politically correct, but I still have to say that I am appalled by many of the young conductors I have seen who do not know the score, do not know the orchestra, or have not developed a readable baton technique. Too frequently it is all of the above. Well, I've said it, now I will let it go; it's time to move on.

In truth I would still like to conduct albeit I am quite content with what I've got. Just in case anyone wants to engage me I submit the following concert:



I know the scores, and how I want to treat them. I know the orchestra very well, and I have a reasonably readable baton technique.

Enough introspection. I have enough work to do, and it's work I adore. We keep learning in this life, and I look forward to that process continuing. The more we learn the better we can teach, and I've believed for a long time that teaching is the most important thing we can do; I hope to keep getting better at it.

Roger Bobo, August 15, 2006, Tokyo